The Truth About Older Men Love Dating Younger Women

This montwomenoldermenh Austin-based profressional matchamker and relationship expert Julia McCurley weighs in on what we all see among the wealthy: younger women attracted to older men. Long a staple in many cultures, McCurley examines the basis of how it really works.

The first thought that comes to many women’s minds when they think of older men dating younger women is that men might only be interested in eye candy and in perpetuating the illusion of their own youth. For some men, this may be true, yet I have found that the attraction is a little more complicated than that.

Older men love dating younger women because of three primary reasons.

1. Younger women may be more sexually attractive to them.

2, Younger women help older men feel more youthful.

3. Younger women idolize older men and do not call them on their issues like an older woman might.

These are all the stereotypical reasons that come to mind to some people think older men love to date younger woman. According to famed psycholigist Abraham Maslow, there are five basic human needs experienced to varying degrees by all of us. However, some of us have higher needs than others genetically at different developmental stages in our lives. Here is some food for thought in regards to that.

First is the survival need, which encompasses the need to stay alive with food, clothing and shelter but it also includes the psychological needs to feel safe and secure. Younger women are often looking for a sense of security that an older man can provide. Older men love dating younger women because the level of security they can offer a younger woman satisfies her in ways it might not an older partner he might seek.

The next need is connection. We all have a need to be connected to other people. Some of us need that more than others. This is a need that is different for men and women at different stages in their lives. Young adult women typically have a larger need for connection. While they will create careers, their main focus is their relationship and creating a family. Young adult men, on the other hand, are most focused on the need for significance. They have relationships and start families but their primary focus is figuring out a way to make it in the world. In young adult relationships, these needs are often in conflict, as the woman wants more intimacy and quality time and the younger man is instead focused on work and building his career.

The next need is freedom. People with high freedom needs do best in relationships with someone else who also possesses a high freedom need. Another reason older men love dating youger women is because even though she is focused on connection, she might be willing to allow an older man freedom in exchange for the security and the attention he gives her when they are together. This ofte creates a win/win arrangement for both.

The fourth need is fun. A younger woman still has a keen sense of energetic fun whereas an older woman may have transitioned into meeting her fun need with her children or having a quieter kind of fun. This younger, energetic kind of fun is attractive to an older man who may be feeling his mortality and seeking a bit more fun than he’s had in his past relationships.

Older men date younger women for many reasons. Some of the relationships last, some don’t. Here’s why.

1. Fantasy love fades. Usually within a year. At first, the older man is in love with her looks and youthful spirit. Eventually, he realizes all they have in common is a roof over their heads, and he’ll be off to look for a relationship with substance he might not thought he found with a younger woman.

2. Older men may say they feel younger, but dating younger women won’t make them younger. No matter how hard older men try to make the wrinkles disappear, the darn things keep showing up in the mirror.

3. Older men and younger women utilize each other, similar to a business arrangement. He has money, assets, power, and security; she has youth and beauty. If the money runs out, or someone richer comes along, she may break the lease, leaving him with an empty wallet and his arms around a tree trying to survive the storm the relationship may have created.

4. OK, maybe she’s not using him. Perhaps she loves him because he’s more patient, laid back, mature, gentle, and understanding than men her age. Still, she’s likely considered his financial attribute at some point. Rarely do I see younger women with destitute older men. Do you?

What matters most to all people is love, no matter what the age or circumstance. With more love in your life, there will be more life in your love.

Why some women prefer Older Men for Dating or Marriage

8287570_f260_副本There are many celebrity married couples where the man is old enough to be the father of the woman. Whether it is younger woman dating older man, older women dating younger men or women getting attracted to already married men, society does not look kindly at the woman in such relationships. Those women are often branded as gold diggers, cougars or the other woman whereas the man in the relationship would be called a ‘stud’ or ‘hero’. While I am not supportive of those ladies who ruin the homes of other woman or those men who leave their wives for younger women, I would give the benefit of doubt for those single women in the other categories that they may have been genuinely in love.

Reasons Why some women prefer Older Men for Dating or Marriage

There may be many reasons why a younger woman may prefer to choose an older man. Some of them can be because

  • They may be more matured and responsible.
  • Older men mostly have established Careers or Business which gives the financial stability and comforts a lady desire.
  • Older men tend to be more caring and may pamper her more and also be an authority figure in her life who takes change of things better.
  • They are more reliable and disciplined compared to their young counterparts.
  • They also seem to be more devoted to their partners and normally do not run around flirting or sleeping around with several women.
  • They are more sexually experienced and know to please their partner.
  • They are also knowledgeable because of their own experiences about what makes a relationship work and do not commit the mistakes younger men does.
  • An Older Man may not possess the energy of his younger counterpart and thereby need not be pleased sexually on a daily basis which most woman consider as a positive thing.
  • He also may not want children from you as he might already have some which is definitely a plus for a career oriented woman.
  • He is more knowledgeable because of his age and because of this wisdom he can teach her and make her feel more secure and confident.

If it is not his Qualities which make a younger woman drawn to him then may beshe is genuinely in love with him. And love is blind, isn’t it? If it is not love that has attracted her to him then may be she is a Gold Digger who is after his money. What do you think?

10 Advantages Of Dating Older Men

screen-shot-2015-01-11-at-1-02-34-pmYoung women often get tired of the let down that comes from dating men their age. There are too many fleeting, career-minded gents who are simply looking to have a little fun until they are ready to have a genuine relationship. Although society generally accepts the younger woman/older man duo, these relationships can be taboo. But what do we do when men our age are constantly letting us down? If you’re tired of waiting around for a “good guy,” you might want to explore another age group: the older man. Here are 10 things you can expect from these ripe gents:

He knows he is

You will know who he is and what he wants right from the get go. He knows what he likes and doesn’t like, but he is open minded enough to go with the flow. His ease and confidence will be a breath of fresh air.

He doesn’t mind the bush

Goodbye shaving, waxing and plucking. Older men grew up in a different generation when the bush was sexy. He’ll go down on you without question. You’ll feel more like a “natural woman” which will be liberating and free. He appreciates your girl parts just the way they are.

He is financially secure

Older men are financially secure. Even if they are not rich, they know where there money is, and this won’t be an issue. You won’t have to worry about contributing to the bill even on the 5th date. If you choose to, it’s because YOU CHOOSE TO out of fairness and equality, not because his courtship grace period is over.

You will never hear, “I have to focus on my career right now”

The older man is settled. He has made a career in this field or the other. He is free to focus on you, his interests and desires and, eventually, your mutual plans. How liberating would it be to be with a man who can focus on the relationship irrespective of whatever else is going on in his life?
If you are indecisive, he’ll choose (and it’ll be great)

Older men have been around the block. They know great places to eat, drink and socialize. No more walking around the East Village for an hour trying to figure out where to sit down for a good conversation.

Sex will be like making love each time

No more questioning whether or not he’ll hold your hand or introduce you to his friends. Sex will be intimate. He will kiss you, look you in the eyes when he’s inside you and tell you how beautiful you are. He will know how to touch you so that you enjoy sex just as much as he does. He will appreciate each time he gets to sleep with you because he looks at it as an experience, not an adventure.

He appreciates your depth

Older men genuinely enjoy good conversation. It is not an arbitrary dating ritual. He wants to hear about your career, ideas and adventures. It turns him on just as much as your physical appearance. So speak up on these dates!

He appreciates your youth

Confident older men want to keep in the now. They want to surround themselves with vibrant people because it keeps them youthful. When people approach middle age, it is easy to coast through life and be comfortable with what they’ve built for themselves. If a man is dating a younger woman, chances are he is looking to maintain his youth. You keep them feeling alive and inspired which, in return, makes you feel deeply desired.

He knows how to handle his family

It can be tricky introducing your significant other to the family for the first time especially if you’ve only done it once or twice before. Older men are well aware of their family’s dynamics, and he knows how to navigate through landmines and awkwardness when a new spouse is introduced. You won’t feel the pressure because he’ll be like a magician, handling the tough nuances without you even knowing he’s doing it.
He will show you places and things you never thought existed

With age comes experience. This is no secret. If you have an adventurous spirit and you’re curious about the world, let him show you the ropes. You may find yourself in a country you didn’t even know was on the map or in a workman’s shop that makes customary doorknobs for country homes. The older man doesn’t just know the streets of your city; he knows the back alleys as well. Let him show you the world.

If you find yourself uninspired by the oh-so familiar dating dynamics of your age group, try an older gent. This may not be the guy you see yourself marrying and having kids with, but it’ll sure be a low-risk adventure that you’ll never forget. TC mark